Posting from Stephys sidekick. Waiting for Fall Out Boy to start. I are sooo sunburnt. Will write more laterz.

So while I should be sleeping right now since I have to get up in like 5 hours for work, I decided I needed to reflect. I have been thinking that I have been out of high school now for 5 years. I'm halfway to my high school reunion. What do I have to show for it? I mean, I like my life. If I could change some things, I would. But everyone wants to change stuff in my life. My niece graduated today. I am so proud of her. But all I can keep thinking is when I graduated from elementary school, she was only a year old. Damn, now I feel old. I'm finally done with school, for now. I really needed a break. This summer should be awesome. I finally got a car. Too bad it doesn't run. But when I get it all fixed up, it's going to be awesome. I'm working a little more, letting them know that I'm ok to teach someone how to do things there. It's not that hard, but I feel like I have finally proven myself. Now I'm not Sarah's friend that we hired. Now I'm just Jessica. It's a good feeling. My dad is always on my ass, but what are you going to do? He always needs to be in charge; it's my way or the highway. Nothing I can really do but just deal. My best friend just got engaged. I'm SOOOOOO happy for her, she really deserves this. But now I'm wondering when will I find someone for me? When will it be my turn. I'm so happy that she found someone, but I am so jealous. But I'm living vicariously through her. I realize, I've been picky. But I'm not pretty and I'm fat. The only thing I have going for me are my boobs, and even then, they're cute only with the bra. What have I to offer anyone? I've pretty much gotten used to the fact that I'm going to be alone. Bridget Jones but fatter where she's the only single girl in her friend's circle. But I'm not going to have Hugh Grant lusting after me, let alone Colin Firth. I'm a hopeless romantic that believes that everyone finds their soulmates and they live happily ever after. I have to stop reading those fairy tales and romance novels. It just puts ideas in my head. But I do wish the best for her. She's going to have an awesome wedding since I'm the maid of honor, and an even awesomer (?) life with Shawn. I love you Alicia. If anyone deserves this, it's you. Don't mind the bitter single girl. Haha. I wish I could live in my dreams. They are the greatest. I always end up with the guy, or I get to hookup with the star. But now it's time to start living in the now, not in dreams. So I'll see you when I go to sleep. Until then...




*posted also in my blog*

My b-day was so much fun. Nice how I'm finally writing about it a week later. I'm so glad that Sarah, Carolyn, and Marie went. It would not have been the same without them. It was perfect. I think I'm starting a tradition.
Then on my actual b-day I went to Disneyland with my dad. That was so much fun too. I got a b-day pin and I was wished a happy b-day by more people that day then any other time in my life combined. It was awesome. I love Disneyland. They had it all set up for the Pirates premiere. Plus I got to ride Splash Mountain. It was supposed to be closed and was to "offically" open on Friday, but they opened it to test it. They put in new tracks. Just so you know, they added another drop. So now there's 3 from little to BIG. Haha! Now I gotta concentrate on finals. Thank god that this semester is almost over. I can't wait until May 31st. It needs to come quicker.


I hate being selfish. But you know what, I'm allowed. Thanks for nothing.

( Here's some pics )

So I'm excited but nervous for my birthday. 11 days to go. I'm worried that not everybody is going to get along. But I hope it's fun. I have like a month left of school, it went by so quickly. I'm gonna miss my dance class. It's so much fun, definetly taking it again next semster. I have a photo project I have to do. Darrell is going to expect so much from me, I don't want to be stressed. But I don't think that's going to happen. Dad's still being a douchebag a lot of the time. I think he might be bipolar. He'll be nice one minute, but the next start to yell. Dealing with it is not fun.

Life: Please work out for me.

Easter sucked. It was another Sunday. Went to the movies and had Taco Bell for dinner. I know, I'm awesome. The only thing that made it a holiday was that I got off 2 hours early. I got to come home and take a nap. But as soon as I actually fall asleep, in walks my dad and starts yelling at me about my room. He was mad that I was on Spring Break and I didn't clean. Boo freaking hoo, it's my break I'm not gonna clean. He needs a hobby that has nothing to do with me.

Tonite, staying at school until 10. Was here at 9:10 for my math class. went out to lunch at 11:30. Came back at 1:45 and I'm staying until then. Kill me now.

So I'm not having a good time. I've lost all my confidence in my photography. I know I'm not a bad one and sometimes I'm good, but I've just lost all confidence. This sucks so hard. Plus the one weekend where I really wanted to get drunk and forget the week before, I don't. Why am I always at scanalous parties with scandal going on around me, never with me. I'm always tired because of school. So I sleep all the time. I love living in my dreams, amazing things happen to me in them. Too bad my dreams aren't real, I would be the happiest ever.

Wow, I haven't written here in a while. My so called "best friend" moved to Vegas to be with her 38 year old boyfriend. It's not really sad seeing as I only really saw her when I worked with her. Which is stupid since I live 3 blocks away from her. Lord knows it's hard to hang out with someone who is soooo far away. I went to go see Hollywood Men. They were amazing. I'm hooked. I wanna go for my b-day. I've been really busy with school. But I like it. I love my ballroom dance class. I love learning how to actually dance, even if some of the guys in the class are hopeless. But I've been soo busy lately since I have 3 night classes. Oh man. Plus, I wanna get drunk, but I can't seeing as the only days I would be able to drink I work the next day, early. Maybe I should just start early. That sounds like a plan. I'm getting really lonely too. I don't get to hang out with my friends as much as I would like too. Damn school. I wanna find someone to be with my I'm a realist, it's not gonna happen. My paents finally met my brother-in-law. I finally got to hang out with both sisters. My dad's still being a controlling douchebag, needing everything to go his way or else. Sometimes I wish I can get a new life. But I like some aspects of my life now that I wouldn't want to change. I guess you have to take the good wih the bad. Whatever.
( Here's my new obsessions )

All I have to say is... I own.

Wednesday: Had a Thanksgiving party at work. Was a lot of fun.
Thursday: Went to California Adventure. Was a lot of fun. Went on a bunch of rides like California Soarin', Tower of Terror (that was hell), all the rides in a bug's life land, and a bunch of other rides that I can't think of right now.
Friday: Went to see Dave Melillo, Cute Is What We Aim For, Reggie and the Full Effect, and Hellogoodbye at the House of Blues with Steph, Norah, Nicole and Ashley. It was a lot of fun even with the little 14 year old bitches who had to try to push their ways up to the stage to see "Forrest!" I haven't been able to hang out for a long time since school.
Weekend was relaxing. It was the first one in a long time. But now it's crunch time with finals and my final photo project. Hooray!!
I'm gonna post the pics later. I can't on the computers here at school.

"Rely on long time friends to get you advice."


That is not a misprint. That is what my fortune really says. You gotta love the Asians. Besides that, it's still a pretty good fortune. Maybe I can get some advice.



I can't wait until the 12th. I need to be done now. But then I have to deal with my douche-bag of a dad. Hooray!

This week needs to be over. I'm so glad that i don't have any class tomorrow. Thank you vetrans. I might even get drunk too.

It's been one of those days all week. Meh, please get better.

Today is gonna be one of those days...

I need sleep, but I have too much psychology to do. Blah!

I wish things were different.

So Sunday I went to Knott's Halloween Haunt. It was fun. It would have been funner (?) if I went with someone else besides my dad. I'm setting a goal now. Next year, I'm going with a boyfriend. I don't know if it'll be with my boyfrined, but it will be with a boyfriend. Haha. But seriously, I saw all these couples and it made me sick. I wanna have someone hold me through the mazes and be there when I scream and jump from being scared. There were a lot of hot guys there, but they of course all had girlfriends. I fell in love with the hot vampire guy in the vampire maze. When I walked by him, he put a rose in my face, tempting like. He didn't have to tempt me with a rose. If he said "Come here," I would be there in a heartbeat. Oh man, he was so hot. But I couldn't get a pic of him since you can't take picures in the mazes. I'm going again next Sunday since my mom bought the wrong tickets. We didn't see that they were for next Sunday until we got there. So we get to go again. I already told my dad that when we first get there, we're going to the vampire maze and just before we leave. Maybe I can get a pic of him then. I went on Ghostrider and that thing was the devil. I hated that ride. It was so fast, I was lifted out of my seat like 6 times, and my neck kept going around. I don't like being lifted out of my seat like I'm going to fly away. Not fun. I have two bruises that you can't see on my thighs from the ride. I was holding on so tightly that after the ride, my fingers couldn't straighten out. I got carpel tunnel from the stupid ride. I like pulled muscles in my arms too. Not cool. Oh well, so I'll go on other rides. I'm going to be so dead on Monday though. I'll have no sleep. Oh well.